My Dad is Cooler than your Dad!

Hi all,

I just wanted to share this delicious holiday greeting from my formerly republican father. Read the original email first then delight in my Dad's fantastical response!

To All My Democrat Friends

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wished.

To My Republican Friends:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Dad's Response:

To my Republican Friends,

And a Merry Christmas to all of you! After the first of the year, when you have finished paying homage to your alleged Christian principles, please continue on with the raping of the environment, the exploitation of your fellow human beings, bringing war and destruction to the farthest reaches of the planet, holding smugly to the idea of your own superiority, believing that your God is the only true God, and in believing that your imagined success is evidence enough of your moral righteousness. Continue to believe that you, as a good, white, scrubbed-behind-the-ears Republican are the final, perfect product of all creation. Do these things, as you always have, in the holy name of profit and exploitation, because now that you have dispensed with the sham, over-commercialized, consumer-obsessed Christmas holiday of your own creation for another year, you can get back to what all Republicans really worship...THE DOLLAR. The meaning of Christmas can be determined, using your usual standards, by how many of those you made.