Accidents

by Amy Phillips

It's getting late
bladder brimming
these two lazy
eternally selfish
assholes don't budge
feeling desperate
squirming
if only, if only, if only
the phone would ring
loudly in their ears
the buzzer answers
I am saved

The spotted one stumbles
steps on me, curses
I will have my turn to defecate
just not before her
tremble all over
imagine the blades
of grass beneath me
so close
I can smell the piss
of the neighbor
through the door

life spent waiting
for food, for walk, for release
this is it
I can wait no more
the warmth trickles
spreads beneath my feet
my shame is pungent
on the linoleum
I slide back into bed
bury my head
wait
her wrath
just a flush away.

The Early Shift

by Amy Phillips

Morning is still black
my skinny legs dangle
from the plastic milk crate.

Eyes still crusted with sleep
my red hair lay in tangles
about my freckled face.

The stink of stale hot dogs
burnt coffee, mopping detergent,
and fresh sweat lingers in the air.

My beautiful sleepy mother
smelling of Jergens and cigarettes
stands on aching feet at the counter.

Men in dirty uniforms come
for the early morning cup and speak
too sweetly to my pretty young mother.

Through each coin exchange
men press her dainty work-worn hands
and she recoils from their oppressive touch.

With my thumb in my mouth
and California Skipper in my lap
I watch the yellow bus round the corner.

I move slowly from her
the stench of gasoline starts to fade
but her sad eyes behind the register remain.

My Dad is Cooler than your Dad!

Hi all,

I just wanted to share this delicious holiday greeting from my formerly republican father. Read the original email first then delight in my Dad's fantastical response!

To All My Democrat Friends

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wished.

To My Republican Friends:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Dad's Response:

To my Republican Friends,

And a Merry Christmas to all of you! After the first of the year, when you have finished paying homage to your alleged Christian principles, please continue on with the raping of the environment, the exploitation of your fellow human beings, bringing war and destruction to the farthest reaches of the planet, holding smugly to the idea of your own superiority, believing that your God is the only true God, and in believing that your imagined success is evidence enough of your moral righteousness. Continue to believe that you, as a good, white, scrubbed-behind-the-ears Republican are the final, perfect product of all creation. Do these things, as you always have, in the holy name of profit and exploitation, because now that you have dispensed with the sham, over-commercialized, consumer-obsessed Christmas holiday of your own creation for another year, you can get back to what all Republicans really worship...THE DOLLAR. The meaning of Christmas can be determined, using your usual standards, by how many of those you made.

Yada Yada

My brother in law is an artist and he is having an opening and is asking everyone to title his work. While I realize most of you can't make it to Montana, you can take part in the festivities via his blog right here... http://kneelingbullmagic.blogspot.com/

So, check it out and throw him some titles!!! Thanks!

Early Morning Intruder or The Aquatic Messiah's Resurrection

Dave and I had just turned off the lights in our bedroom and had laid our heads on the pillow when Freud started growling, next he began to bark, then Dave and I heard footsteps outside of our bedroom door. I am prone to worry and have a bit of a fear of the dark so my reaction of fright was not out of the ordinary. When Dave, however, grabbed my hand and whispered, "I think someone is in the house." I was immediately shaking and sick to my stomach. I begged Dave to stay in the room and then I insisted on following him. All we had to protect ourselves was a glass bottle.

We slowly left the security of our bedroom and began to look about the house, turning on every light we passed. Freud was sniffing around but not acting concerned which made me feel a bit better. Dave opened the closet door and just as he did I looked down on the floor and I saw our little Red Tail Pink Chelsea (fish) lying still in a tumbleweed of Freud hair that often litters our floors.

Dave quickly picked the little guy up and began to clean the hair off of him. He felt the slightest movement in the fish and put him into the water but it showed little sign of recovery at first. Dave kept rubbing him and attempting to move the fish in the way that it would normally do on its own. He slowly began to perk up though he was still floating upside down and on his side. We watched him for a bit, laughing at ourselves for the panic when clearly it was this fish that we had heard from our room. We congratulated each other and Freud in our attempts to save the little fish's life and then we decided to go back to bed and hope for the best.

When I awoke this morning the first thing I did was check on the Red Tail assuming I would find him dead and perhaps half eaten by our other 12 fish. I was delighted to find him fully recovered and swimming around just as before. Dave, Freud, and I feel like heroes and are certain we now have a ticket into God's golden gates. ;)

Due to the Red Tails miraculous resurrection we have decided to christen him Jesus (pronounced Hey-Zeus).

sleepiness makes me stupid

I am so busy lately that I haven't the time to breathe. or sleep. School is wholly encompassing now. I feel like a real student for the first time since high school and that's fun, but I am just so tired. At the moment I am procrastinating. I should be reading some mind numbing book about literary theory but I am an"English Traditionalist" and Theory makes my brain hurt. So instead I am thinking about farming.

I know I have mentioned in more than a couple blog entries that my Dad is buying a farm in a few years but I am not sure if you guys know that Dave and I are planning on building our house on the property soon after Dad and Theresa settle in. All of this will begin to happen in about four years. So time would be much better used if I instead focused my meandering mind on homework. I just get so excited thinking about the whole idea of the natural life. Picking our dinner fresh from the yard and playing with goats and sheep and pigs. I totally revert back to a giddy, giggling four year version of myself.

Dave and I have been day dreaming about building an earthship on the farm. For the vast majority of you who don't know what an earthship is you must be thinking that I have lost my mind entirely and plan on taking a first class trip to outer space in a rocket. But an earthship is actually a house. A fully functioning, yet 100% off the grid, self sufficient home. It supplies it's own water from rain and snow, collects wind and sunlight for electricity, and best of all is built from mostly recycled materials - tires, bottles, and cans! It sounds insane and probably hideous but they are actually really beautiful, though certainly unique. Check them out at www.earthship.org or watch the video below... Maybe you'll be daydreaming instead of doing what you should just like me!

This and That

It's definately too soon to be talking about it but as those of you who know me understand, I cannot keep a secret. No, Jackie, I am not pregnant. ;) Dave and I are working together on a children's book. I am really super excited about it. I am doing the writing, he is illustrating and we came up with our idea while driving to Virginia. I am not going to go into too many details just yet but I had to say something. It's been great finding a project that Dave and I can work on together that we both enjoy equally. I have helped him here and there with some of his animations (I stress "here and there") but this is "ours."

I don't have much else to report right now. I start classes next Monday and I am pretty nervous because it will be my first semester as a full time student. I will also still be working 30+ hours a week with Katie so it's gonna be a bit tricky managing it all at first but I am determined to keep my 3.8 GPA. I will just have to learn to deal. My classes sound pretty interesting at least and hopefully that will carry me through to Christmas. Anycrap, if you don't hear from me for a while, now you know why.

I am reading a great book right now called Robbing the Bees by Holley Bishop. My Dad has started beekeeping in his backyard until he can officially retire and become a farmer. I have been fascinated with his newest obsession oddly enough. I actually have a bit of a bee phobia. So at the very least he seems to be helping me to overcome this fear. Bees are ridiculously interesting creatures. So check out the book sometime.